Everyone always tells you that when you have kids, it changes everything. But being a typical new mom, I wanted to believe that we would be able to keep living our lives pretty much the same as before, and just have a new small addition to our adventures. And while, that has been true in some respects, working and being a mom has proven to be a bit more of a challenge then first anticipated. Though my son is a very chill and happy baby, he still wants his mother's nurturing touch, connection, and attention, as most new babies do.
In many cultures across the globe, they consider the first three months to be the 4th trimester. A time of critical mental and physical development, bonding, trust building and integration for the new parents. A baby is adjusting to the world outside the womb, where everything is now a lot lighter, louder and less comfortable. For parents, it is a time of having empathy and compassion for this new little life and helping ease his transition by being there for him, feeding, loving and comforting him, and letting him know that he can rely on them to meet his every need.
I went back to work one day a week (5hr work day), when my son was around 8 weeks old. I thought it would be fine, as he was at home with dad. This allowed them to have some good bonding time, me to continue to do what I love, and have bit of me time outside the home. However, in the following weeks I began to notice some funny little behaviours in my son when I came home from work. He would be excited to see me, but then would fight eating, napping and was generally a bit more fussy. It seemed to always take us a couple days to reset after every shift I worked.
I took my son to see a Physiotherapist, who told me that my son's nervous system was a bit phrenic, or over-stimulated because of his traumatic entry into this world and our separation in the first several hours after his birth. He had some breathing issues at birth, and as the Doctors and nurses worked to stabilize him, I laid unable to do anything for him. He was then transferred to Lions Gate, and had a seizure on the way and had to be transferred to Children's Hospital. I could not go with him in the ambulance, and so I did not get to be by his side for almost 10 hours. My husband was able to be with him, so that was good, but we were still not able to hold him until the following morning. Every time I was leaving to go to work, it was like it was triggering this trauma for him.
Though I love what I do and many of my clients make me feel appreciated and needed, I began to more clearly hear my own inner voice and the unspoken desires of my baby, "no one needs you more than your baby'. I believe as parents, our job is to show our children how to be successful, caring and empathetic members of our world. We do this by parenting with love, compassion, empathy and trust. They are only this tiny, dependant, and innocent for such a short period of time and we need to be there to care for them.
I love spending my days chatting, snuggling, nurturing, playing and caring for my sweet little boy. So in order to better meet his needs, I have decided to only work in Squamish, eliminating the time away from my son spent driving. It was a very hard decision to leave my practice in North Vancouver, as I have been there for 7.5 years, but I feel it is the right one. My last day of work in North Vancouver will be August 2, 1018. Squamish is an amazing community, and we are so happy to be laying down our roots here. I am excited to get more involved in the community and begin to grow my practice here.
Thank you to all of my clients in North Van over the years, for your support, trusting me as one of healthcare providers, and letting me practice my skills, learning so much from working with each of your unique bodies.
If you are up in our neck of the woods, in the beautiful area of Squamish, you can find me working out of Elaho Medical Clinic. For more information on my location and hours visit www.elahoclinic.com
Wishing you all the best in your future health, and thanks again for your support